somewhere over the rainbow;

Monday, February 20, 2006

u won't understand that its even more upset to know the fact that actually my parents will think that money is more important than my health...an hour ago,just called the hospital medical referral centre hotline & enquiry their recommendations of specialist whom best suits me...& the lady told me that actually in my case i need to consult 2 different specialists...wtf...seeing 1 specialist already will make me broke & now is recommended to see 2!!! hai~ anyway that's the beginning of my agony only...& so i ask about the estimated costs & was told that consultation fees alone will cost me $100 - $180...although expected but still feel very sian...so i haven't decide whether when to book my medical appointment yet...we shall wait & see bah...then suddenly i feel that i ought to let my mum knows...at least she's that more understanding type & can share my burden,in terms of mentally & of course financially!!!...hai...guess what my mum is more worried about? nevertheless her 1st question is not asking about my health & so on,she sounded abit not so enthu & concern about me and start to "po leng shui"...then questioned me about the money issue,saying that my dad will sure be angry if he was to know that i want to spend money to go & see specialist for treatment...HAI~ what more can i say...i just say back if "you got the whole money in the world but no life to spend,also no use what"..."health is more important"...she diam diam...actually i know that is not she don't approve or support me to go,is just that she feel that all these is "extra" spending that noones wish for (of course including me i also don't want to spend 1,is just that i want to once and for all settle all this shit!)...after all these rubbish...i'm in a dilemma now...wondering should i or should i not go for this specialist thingy...dampens my mood...my DOWNs just keep on coming & i feel that i'm in a bottomless pit...keep on falling & falling deeper...to all:those people with no luck (like me)...try not to gamble la...just lost $55 in only 5 matches...i'm simply a luckless guy...

only illusions;

7:05 PM