somewhere over the rainbow;

Friday, February 24, 2006

this morning after i woke up,i simply feel that it's gonna be a bad day again as i'm starting to lose morale and confidence in life...don't feel like doing anything and just slack around waiting for time to pass me by...then i decided not to let myself down by gg to "hint" my mum whether she wanna share my burden by subsidising half of my specialist fees (which i have discuss with her before,but she never give me an answer)...so i walk to her and ask her in a quite direct manner...and as usual she say she's broke.have no money,no savings, and most sadly is she admit she is a super addictive gambler and has spend most of her money on 4D,Toto and etc...so i started to feel pissed off because i simply cannot tolerate such attitude whereby can spend money on gambling but cannot spend money on me gg to see doctors, i mean,what kind of thinking is this...i really cannot understand and i don't want to understand...then she start to say how about she pay $100? (total fees is $400 dude!) And i start to think:"kaoz...i'm just an ordinary jobless full-time student with no income and no pocket-money at all!!! wtf is this!!! u as my mum never even give me pocket-money for so many years le also nvm,i never really go and bother about this, but now i got health problems and u expect me to pay $300 all by myself?!?"...somemore she thinks that this is a supermarket meh...still can bargain with me say can pay $100 instead anot...aiya anyway i'm getting impatient about this whole thing and towards life...hope my parents won't regret their decision to treat me now like this down the road in 10 years time...my life has been getting worse and worse...i'm getting more suay day-by-day, so i learn not to expect too much out of life...exams coming and if u were me,do u think u have the mood to study anymore? no money=no study (because its a fact that if u don't pay up money to the school,how will they let u continue to study)...nobody understand this point...keep on saying what money is not an issue,whereby its so clear that money IS really an issue...i'm so so tired...

only illusions;

9:09 AM