somewhere over the rainbow;

Monday, February 27, 2006

it has been 3 days... tot it was over today BUT..haiiii... its all the chicKen wings fault!!!!! onli me & wj ate the chicken wings & we 2 end up having stomach ache...hhaha... visit the toilet dunno how mani times already for the 3 days!!! **arGh** promise i will go see the doc if i'm still not well... :(

only illusions;

9:51 PM

i noe it has been a tiring,disappointing,frustrating 3 days settling ur checkups.. but its over for now.. let things settle down by itself...i noe now u are feeling very suay over these incidents.. i believe that suayness will go away fast *sHoOo*dun feel so upset over it can?? i also feel sad also.. haizzz...chuan dao qiao tou zi ran zhi! cHeer Up,dEarie~~i believe good things will definitely come ur way soon!!! as for the money problem, we'll try to solve it together ok??always know that i'll be there for u...

today i crashed CF..haha... so scared that the admin ppl will check !! im such a gOod girl for the year & dun wan suay suay get caught at this time of the yr..hhaa... the lecturer keep looking at me & i siam & siam & siam his eye contact..hahha....not bad leh... im quite attentive( learned: CAPM,what value of equity & debt...) haha... but i think its tough leHH... wonder if i should take Cf in yr 3..haha...cos quite analytical i tink..maybe im wrong..i dunno... haha...

hope that everything will go smooothly for dear....spend more time with my books....dun friend my fridge....make s'pore time into usa's time...and visit my dreamland only when i need it & not when i miss it..haHaaaaa

only illusions;

11:24 PM

predicted this weekend's 4D will open 7225 & 6933...good luck to all...

only illusions;

11:19 PM

as predicted, today is just another bad and suay day...nothing good has happened today...don't wanna talk too much about it...bless me luck...

only illusions;

11:14 PM

this morning after i woke up,i simply feel that it's gonna be a bad day again as i'm starting to lose morale and confidence in life...don't feel like doing anything and just slack around waiting for time to pass me by...then i decided not to let myself down by gg to "hint" my mum whether she wanna share my burden by subsidising half of my specialist fees (which i have discuss with her before,but she never give me an answer)...so i walk to her and ask her in a quite direct manner...and as usual she say she's broke.have no money,no savings, and most sadly is she admit she is a super addictive gambler and has spend most of her money on 4D,Toto and etc...so i started to feel pissed off because i simply cannot tolerate such attitude whereby can spend money on gambling but cannot spend money on me gg to see doctors, i mean,what kind of thinking is this...i really cannot understand and i don't want to understand...then she start to say how about she pay $100? (total fees is $400 dude!) And i start to think:"kaoz...i'm just an ordinary jobless full-time student with no income and no pocket-money at all!!! wtf is this!!! u as my mum never even give me pocket-money for so many years le also nvm,i never really go and bother about this, but now i got health problems and u expect me to pay $300 all by myself?!?"...somemore she thinks that this is a supermarket meh...still can bargain with me say can pay $100 instead anot...aiya anyway i'm getting impatient about this whole thing and towards life...hope my parents won't regret their decision to treat me now like this down the road in 10 years time...my life has been getting worse and worse...i'm getting more suay day-by-day, so i learn not to expect too much out of life...exams coming and if u were me,do u think u have the mood to study anymore? no money=no study (because its a fact that if u don't pay up money to the school,how will they let u continue to study)...nobody understand this point...keep on saying what money is not an issue,whereby its so clear that money IS really an issue...i'm so so tired...

only illusions;

9:09 AM

damn it! pls pardon me for being so crude...my mood simply unstable & fed-up with those so-called ethical doctors...that irresponsible doctor who i went to is unreasonably f**k up...trying to shrink responsibility by closing my case as soon as he can't find out what's actually wrong with me...what kind of f**k up doctor is this u tell me!!! and worst i paid $400 & waste 2 days of my time to go to see this stupid doctor...when he can't find out what's wrong with me, he said :"so u don't need to come and see me anymore because i've done all the tests and that's nothing much more for me to do." deep-down inside my heart i just felt utterly disappointed in doctors...but everything is not over until i received the full report of my test and went back to endorse with the MO. Hopefully can settled everything by next week because really no time for such rubbish thingy...Thanks alot to dear for being there for me all this while...she's so ke lian...sick le still accompany me to take my test and waited like 1 hour for me to finish everything...the attitude i get from the stupid doc is simply irritating...i don't even want to hear anything from him towards the end...let him talk and i simply f**k care...turn my back and walk away...hopefully when i go back to see the MO,i can get a good kind-hearted MO who is willing to be more concern about his patient...then it will change my impression of MOs...advise to all:if u all want to go see specialists, don't go for younger ones...because they are smart alecks and thought that they themselves very li hai...this is what i call ren li hai jiu hao,bu yao jia li hai...if got money also don't give them earn la...they cannot make it...

only illusions;

5:54 PM

u won't understand that its even more upset to know the fact that actually my parents will think that money is more important than my health...an hour ago,just called the hospital medical referral centre hotline & enquiry their recommendations of specialist whom best suits me...& the lady told me that actually in my case i need to consult 2 different specialists...wtf...seeing 1 specialist already will make me broke & now is recommended to see 2!!! hai~ anyway that's the beginning of my agony only...& so i ask about the estimated costs & was told that consultation fees alone will cost me $100 - $180...although expected but still feel very sian...so i haven't decide whether when to book my medical appointment yet...we shall wait & see bah...then suddenly i feel that i ought to let my mum knows...at least she's that more understanding type & can share my burden,in terms of mentally & of course financially!!!...hai...guess what my mum is more worried about? nevertheless her 1st question is not asking about my health & so on,she sounded abit not so enthu & concern about me and start to "po leng shui"...then questioned me about the money issue,saying that my dad will sure be angry if he was to know that i want to spend money to go & see specialist for treatment...HAI~ what more can i say...i just say back if "you got the whole money in the world but no life to spend,also no use what"..."health is more important"...she diam diam...actually i know that is not she don't approve or support me to go,is just that she feel that all these is "extra" spending that noones wish for (of course including me i also don't want to spend 1,is just that i want to once and for all settle all this shit!)...after all these rubbish...i'm in a dilemma now...wondering should i or should i not go for this specialist thingy...dampens my mood...my DOWNs just keep on coming & i feel that i'm in a bottomless pit...keep on falling & falling deeper...to all:those people with no luck (like me)...try not to gamble la...just lost $55 in only 5 matches...i'm simply a luckless guy...

only illusions;

7:05 PM

its rather upset hearing that all the kindness is actually a kind of "unkindness".wonders~

i admit that im feeling disappointed but i will get over it soon.. i know the difficulties & stress you're facing now & im also stressed up with exams & revision(which i did not do much at this crucial time)and i feel that its time both of us start our revision.

i never thought of asking you to change who you are & i love the way you are. however,girls are always girls!! sometimes a guy still has to do smth sweet for the girl.

anyway,today i had a pleasant steamboat with my family!! (",)enjoy such moments where everyone is ard to share their "stories".All the best to weihong & enjoy life in australia ya!!but not forgetting to study hard wOr~haha....

only illusions;

11:37 PM

time to write something before soccer match starts at 11pm...just lost $5 on that stupid man utd match...its a poor overall perfermance by man utd which cost my $5...its not the money that i lost,its about the way man utd play lets me feel not worthwhile to "invest" that $5 & waste my time sitting down there to watch that entire match...anyway nvm i still got another "investment" on the 11pm game...hopefully can win some money so that to snowball to enough money to buy present for dear...she has been feeling disappointed in me nowadays and im so sorry that i can't change the fact that who i am...hopefully she loves me for who i am...think everyone has their ups n downs bah,n obviously i am having my DOWNs now...rough time for me these period as i faced lots n lots n tons n tons of pressure n stress...need to settle ippt by june (simply sux...pass ippt also no money to take n yet have to take)...exams coming n i still haven't start revising (always say no mood yet)...sometimes i really wonder isit really true that im that last-min studying type? financial crisis is pushing me towards a dead end...i'm not bankrupt,but i can predict my money won't last me more than a year...if birthday wishes will come true,then i must be greedier this coming june so as to make as many wishes as possible...(by wj)

only illusions;

10:36 PM

After Nightfall & Dinner...(Full Full!!)

only illusions;

11:08 PM

Before Sunset & Dinner...(Hungry~)

only illusions;

11:05 PM

V-day 2006~
Our lovely dinner on the beach~

...Sea-view...feel the breeze...sunset...
Clear blue sky...sound of waves...sand...
Seagulls...

only illusions;

10:52 PM

Her Valentine's Card to me~ (isn't it nice...it's magnet card)

only illusions;

10:48 PM

My Valentine's Card to her~ (Self-Made)

only illusions;

10:46 PM

hAppY vALenTiNe's dAy tO dEar~ wish everyone in the world will be happy & xin fu...(by wj)

only illusions;

9:52 AM

finally waited for lunar 15th to past...becoz i've been wanting to cut my disgusting hair away (my hair reminds me of stupid ME during src camp!)...haha...dear's mum strongly oppose to me cutting hair during the 15 days...so i wait & wait & finally i did it...very determine to go & have it cut today...ao after sch accompany dear & friends (all fighting "war" in the library) to settle their eREV thingy 1st & then had a late lunch in the canteen with the big group...me,dear,jingyou xiaozi,eunice xiongdi,jo,xiaomei & lyn"nerd" (quoted by me but inspired by weiboon~)...7 ppl altogether...it's been a long long time since all of us get together n sit down to have a decent meal...hard to have such a gathering nowadays...enjoyable meal with the company~ xiaomei got this cute ntu water-bottle placing on the table n it tempt me to get my nalgene water-bottle asap...have been waiting to go n buy it,but lazy to juz make a trip down to get it,so wait til i by chance walk past the shop bah...went all the way down to hougang to cut my hair,not very satisfied but overall it's "OK La~" anyway hair will grow back 1...suan le la...my hair like always looked the same no matter how i cut it (...no much difference...but still hope tmr will have positive comments...lol...die-ed la...i still haven't decide what v-day present to buy for dear n hope she won't be angry (but i think hard la)...no money is a big issue...hehe but she sure say then y got money want to buy crumpler bag...anyway i haven't decide i want to buy bcoz my taste change so rapidly til i myself also canot take it...another frustrating thing is the fee of $210 that i need to pay to go for revision class...makes me feel so xin bu gan,qing bu yuan...$210 can buy alot of things u know?!?! n btw for those who duno,the $210 is i pay myself 1,from my own savings 1,those ppl whose parent is paying for them,can u all feel my agony n feel the pinch? i'm so envy of u all...hai...i wrote so much le ar...then next time then tell u all more...take care...eh next time u all read the entries dont be confused k,from this entry onwards,behind the last word will indicate written (by wj) or (by yan) ...(by wj)

only illusions;

6:34 PM

hai...poor me...my mouth is full of ulcers!!! damn irritating...i feel my whole mouth is swollen n bloated...haven't been so tong ku for some time le...actually i deserved it sia...eating so many new year goodies over the past 1 week & ppl who knows me actually will know tat i seldom drink water tat's y it worsen...hopefully can feel better by tmr (eat xian dan oso won't so fast recover la)...haha...anyway juz now manage to do some reading up on friends' blog & was reading boon's journal...haha...duno y i suddenly see flashes n memories of the old me...realised tat he had an adventurous thinking too...like to try out new things as what i did in the past...(all those "bad" things lo)...lol...maybe boon n me do share some similarites sia...but of course he's more yandao than me,taller than me,runs faster n further than me,swims better than me,tanner than me...etc...all better than me...keke...& kenneth's birthday is coming this sunday...hehe...can drink to my hearts' content...but sian monday got morning class so cannot play to the max...hope he likes his present n MUST appreciate it becoz we went several places (one end to another) juz to try to find the best for him...then cause us to be late for mahjong session!!! whahaha...although lost money but overall its fun to have such a gathering reqularly...

only illusions;

10:30 PM

Oh ya.. to update the previous post..there's another person other than jingyou to be offered in "high regards" - weiboon....haha.. thanks to all ur suan-ing huh!!
haha...

only illusions;

8:49 PM

after so long im finally posting...its all cos of the new year season!!

had mani house visits & gambling sessions of course..its tiring to go on so mani hse visits i realised

but recently my new fancy-MAHJONG !! haha.. yest had a mahjong session at ken's hse with dear,nette & boon...interesting~ guess afew more sessions i'll aquire the skills better. all begginers except maybe dear & ken..who finds nette,boon & me slow..haha...

now guess its time to get back to my books...haiz.. mock is comin soon !!! and im dead.... pls grant me perseverance ,mood & intelligence !!!!! i need it badly..*pOOr mE*

only illusions;

3:02 PM